


narcolepsy

by ishie



Category: Black Books
Genre: 100-1000 Words, 2009, Fifteen Minute Ficlet, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-23
Updated: 2009-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-05 21:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishie/pseuds/ishie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time her date fell asleep on her, his body a dead weight that nearly succeeded in suffocating her, Fran chalked it up to too much wine with dinner. Hardly an uncommon occurrence and certainly not noteworthy enough to require an extended session with her own personal agony aunt, Manny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	narcolepsy

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt: **narcolepsy: sleep disorder, from [dictionary_wotd](http://syndicated.livejournal.com/dictionary_wotd/)
> 
> Special thanks to [Cptnsubtext](http://cptnsubtext.livejournal.com/) for giving me a fandom and character for this! Part of a self-imposed 15-minute ficlet challenge and they should really do another series of _Black Books_. Feedback/criticism always welcomed!

The first time her date fell asleep on her, his body a dead weight that nearly succeeded in suffocating her, Fran chalked it up to too much wine with dinner. Hardly an uncommon occurrence and certainly not noteworthy enough to require an extended session with her own personal agony aunt, Manny.

The second time, with a different date, she was on top and didn't notice until well after she'd finished scaring the neighbours with howling noises and an awkward period of barking. No skin off her nose, especially as she'd not had such a good time since the call to Howell Granger. (He still occasionally called her at home, late at night, to make sure she wasn't hurt. Thank _God_.)

After the third, fourth, and fifth times, one of which was a repeat performance, she started to wonder if perhaps a pattern was forming.

"I think I might be contagious," she declared as she refilled all three wineglasses.

Bernard shrieked, tore the wine bottle out of her hand, and dashed off into the kitchen. Fran and Manny ignored him as best they could, especially once he started throwing the empty disenfectant bottles from a recent and ill-advised attempt at starting a home brewery.

Manny fluffed his beard, smoothed his hair to one side of his head, and pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket. Settling them on the end of his nose, he peered at Fran. "What kind of contagion?" He fished a notebook and a pen from the detritus of Bernard's desk and began scribbling madly before she'd even begun to respond.

"Narcolepsy," she said. "I think I'm somehow infecting my dates with narcolepsy."

"Are you narcoleptic?" Manny asked as he paused his scribbling.

"No."

The pen made a scratching noise as he began writing again. "What makes you think you're contagious then?"

"I've been on five dates in the past two months and all five times, my date has fallen dead asleep on top of me. Well, once it was under me but the end result is the same."

"Maybe you should stop drugging them to lure them into your lair!" Bernard shouted from behind the curtain. "You and your witchy ways, tempting men into a frenzy and then forbidding them to remember anything!"

Fran rolled her eyes at Manny, who was nodding furiously as he frantically flipped pages in his notebook to find an unmarked page.

**Author's Note:**

> Started: 23 January 2009, 11:41  
> Finished: 23 January 2009, 11:56


End file.
